rain= gloomy, sun = cheerful

I woke up to a sunny day, after 2 days of heavy grey clouds and lots of rain(and 2 days of a low-level headache). Around noon, I took a long walk, and called a friend I haven't talked to in awhile. She was like "you sound great!" and I thought, "Wow, if I had talked to her yesterday I would have been doom and gloom!" I seem to be more sensitive to light as a mood effector, these days.

We are gathering funds for our 2nd(last?) IVF/ICSI. I am still a job-applying fool, but we plan to get started in February, regardless of insurance coverage. My RE is ready, and has just sent a tentative protocol. Exciting, scary.

We still haven't figured out whether Share.d Ri.sk is for us. In the shower today I thought "do you want to pay $11,000 for an insurance policy?" No answer presented. It seems like I am trying to trick myself into knowing what we should do, what is best. But, I cannot know, and that is VERY aggravating! If we knew we could easily afford the monthly payment on S.R. I think we'd do it.

I am realizing that the thought of a 2nd IVF experience, and all it entails, scares me less than it did before. I know parts of it will suck(hello, huge ovaries, hello egg retrieval) but I have been through it before. I'll eat and drink well, and hope, hope hope.