awareness of time

Our little Acorn turns six months next week. This is a bit mind-blowing to me. It seems a bit ridiculous, that I, an overly-educated individual, can be so disbelieving of the simple passing of time.

I realized some simple things about six months. The first being that six months is half of a year. (I warned you, my brain can't seem to compute complex thoughts, these days)... How can my baby be 1/2 of a year old? I received a note from b.abycenter last weekend that said, "At this time last year you were 12 weeks pregn.ant." We were just leaving the danger zone, so to speak. It is easy to look back and think of all of the milestones of my pr.egnancy, how happy I was to have it keep on continuing.

Our Acorn is a little yeller. She yells(not cries) when she wants to: move, eat, sleep, look at something, chew on something. We have not yet learned to differentiate these yells, so my day is filled with, OK, let's try this, moments. And, she is sitting up. Wobbly, but sitting. She engages her muscles in a way that makes me want to get myself to a pilates class.



Since she arrived, she has been(to me) a part of me. As she asserts herself, her likes and dislikes, her desire to be out in the world, I see that soon she will start to be more of an individual. It makes me a bit sad, though I know it means she is healthy and thriving, and growing older.

breastfeeding woes and, eventually, thanks

P.S.A.: I talk about my brea.sts a lot in this entry.
Wow, I wish I could say I am in blissed out "we finally had a baby" land, but really, the newborn thing is hard. I told Mr. S this weekend that I feel like I am under 'nipple slavery'.

I developed a breast-yeast infection, and was diagnosed last Friday. The treatment was semi-working, but then I started having more pain, and just crying from the pain, and imagining each feeding with major worry and sadness. I called my midwife center yesterday, and they had me check some symptoms(fever: no, hot bre.asts: yes) and they said "Come in!") I went in and they winced when they saw my cracked, red nipples. They said it makes sense I've been crying a lot, as the pain would bring anyone down.

Turns out I have the bre.astfeeding trifecta: Cracked nipples, a yeast infection(in the b.reasts) and mastitis. So, I have been forbidden to bfeed for 2 days, and am to pump and feed her that way. I am medicining it up. I am starting to feel better, but the all pumping thing is a time sucker, oh man! And, I have this weird feeling of odd irony that on the day of feasting I have to use a machine to get milk to put into a bottle to feed my baby.

But, that brings me to part two of this entry...
I have a baby! This time last year we were coming up on 3 yrs ttc, and I was still dealing with the very physical effects of my miscarriage. I was wondering if I'd ever have my own baby.
Now I do!
I told her this morning about Thanksgiving, a day of feasting, family and gratitude. I told her that she is what we are most grateful for, and how long we've waited for her.

This holiday, this year, has made me realize that the need for a holiday like thanksgiving was called for by trials, hardship. It makes sense to balance the feast with gratitude of what has brought us to this feast, to this day of thanks.