Sorting, Heirlooms & Expectation

On Saturday I got the expected, but much earlier than expected, news that my grandmother would have to move to an assisted living home. She is my last grandparent, and we've always had a good relationship. It has been hard to see her having memory issues, lapses over the past couple of years. It was also, coincidentally, her 83rd birthday.

On Sunday, I went to help my aunts and uncle clean/clear/sort and pack up her apartment. She is moving from a one-bedroom with generous storage(5 closets, incl. walk-in) to a studio room.

Things we had to consider while sorting:
1. Can she injure herself with this?(accidental breakage-(like glass), etc, not purposefully)
2. Does she need this to feel at home?
3. Is this something that should be donated, or will someone want it?
4. Will this fit?(larger items, chairs, etc)
5. What should go over immediately to help her acclimate?
5. She said this(insert family heirloom here) was for ____, but now we find out she told each person that it was for them.

Obviously, we didn't get it all done, but it had me thinking a lot about what is important to us, what comforts us, everyday items. My aunt(by marriage) was somehow assigned to sorting her bureau, and almost tossed a few items that I knew had been on my grandmother's bureau for at least 30 yrs. Holding one, a heavy blue glass bowl, plain and non-descript, I realized how much and how little you can know about someone. My great-great grandfather was a glass blower. He moved the family from Pennsylvania to Indiana in the early 20th century because a natural gas mine was found there, and the glassmakers moved.

The bowl does not symbolize the move, her family, etc to anyone who hasn't heard this story. But, I can hold it as I wrap it up, and imagine him handing it to her, something he made, something he brought home. Hand to hand, this passage of family and place.

My other aunt and uncle are visibly shaken by this experience(while handling things remarkably well), and I realized that may be why my other aunt was sorting, because in amongst the heirlooms we were finding stained clothes, odd stashes of $1 bills, boxes of razor blades(!), crumpled papers, etc. Physical signs that she is no longer the fastidious woman who raised them.

It wasn't bothering me at all. I tried to figure out why.

Am I more distant because she only raised me for a couple of years? I don't know, it is possible, but I don't think that is it. It may, instead, be that I can deal with this for two reasons:
1. I volunteered in a hospital for 2 yrs and worked with patients in much worse condition.
2. I have had to do similar cleaning after my mother's manic episodes.

Somehow, none of the mess, paranoia, etc, seems attached to my grandmother, to who I know her to be. The true her, her true self, is not a paranoid, forgetful, messy person. Those things are just in the way.

Nevertheless, I find myself sad today. Her life has changed and will continue to change, I will help her walk, as she helped me walk. I will encourage her to eat healthy foods, as she did with me.

I came home with a few boxes of things, some I really want, some I am unsure of, but my family wanted me to take them. Part of me wants to take them back, for a day, and learn stories about each of them, especially the everyday objects like an old-fashioned measuring cup with the measurements all embossed around the edges. Pre-pyrex. I think my aunts and uncle expected me to ask about the "valuable" items, all of which will go in my uncle's basement for storage(except for her china display case items( but I am realizing that I want these simpler things, things my family have used daily for 100 yrs.

Do you have some similarly mundane item that is from someone in your family that you treasure?