The Theory of Nicely Dressed Children

Yesterday we went to our neighborhood pool's pre-opening potluck. They had a fun aging-punk band, three tables worth of food and a couple of small beer kegs. There were kids running everywhere. They were in high heaven, playing in sand, dancing and running. As I ate I did some people watching.

I saw a very adorable girl wearing a gorgeous cotton dress, it was sort of salmon colored with dark brown flowers. I felt she had probably been adopted(she was african-american and everyone with her was pale). I was trying to figure out whose child she was, b/c I am curious about adoptive families(I grew up with friends and family adopting). Anyway, after awhile I decided that she had been adopted by two men. It got me to thinking about the longing for children and the longing to dress children.

I have had moments, walking through a store like Target, where I just had to rush by the children's clothing section. Especially the toddler section. Something about those tiny outfits gets to me. How many people dealing with infertility(or a challenge to adopt/start their family) have been upset by something so seemingly innocuous?

It made me wonder if people who've had to wait longer than they'd like, to start their family, think more about the way they dress their children.

When my friend and her family arrived, she noticed the girl right away, because of her dress. I told her about the stories I was making up, and my theory of the nicely dressed kid. She added to it and said that when you are waiting for your child, clothing can be a tangible link. You can hold a hat and think, "My child will wear this, will fit into this."

In the meantime, I make hats and give them to friends who are having babies. I love doing this, and hope to someday be fitting one of my hats to my own child's head.

Later, I leaned back on Mr. S, with the beautiful late light golden everywhere and felt relaxed and peaceful. I thought I would be SO STRESSED during IVF, what a surprise to be happy and calm!