Before we had our own little one, I heard and read many pieces of advice that said, "never compare your child to another."
Easier said than done!
Usually, I just notice what Acorn has not done: slept through the night more than 1x a month; crawled later than Z, walked later than C, etc. I didn't complain about these(except the sleep thing, which I still would love to be different.)
Why do we want to be perfect? Especially knowing perfection(perceived/presented) can be so alienating?
Our little Acorn is a talker, she talks, at 16.5 months, more than many 2 year olds we know. As a highly verbal person, myself, I relish the way she talks, and love it, usually, in a 'how cool is this?' kind of way, not a 'look what my daughter does that yours doesn't' way.
But, recently, a Mom-friend mentioned how little her son talks, and I(I confess, I'd had a beer) told her a story about how impressed the Dr. was when she heard Acorn talking. I then said, "But she still wakes 1-2 times a night, even after we've done sleep training, and she is ambiguous about eating much." I concluded by saying. "I think kids excel at some things and lag in others." I meant to be encouraging, but I doubt she heard that.
Afterwards, I felt awful. I know that when friends tell me how great their kids sleep I don't feel happy for them(I should) I just feel jealous. So, why would I say how well my child is doing in an area her child is not?
I talked with another friend about it, and she said, "I try not to say how well my kids do in things, in general, except to really close friends."
I am going to try and get a little more quiet about these things, when out at our frequent playgroups, etc.
Because, we all say we understand kids do things at different times, but we can't help but notice the goods and the bads, and blame ourselves, sometimes.
What have you said that you wished you didn't, or heard that you wish you hadn't? How do you stay positive?
