Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Planting, overplanting, rain and sun

I haven't written a garden-y post in a while. Might as well do one now.
We are in high summer. I planted a bunch of things close together, expecting some (maybe 1/3) to not make it. That is what has happened the 2 prior summers we've lived here.
Well. Everything (or almost all) made it through the long, cool, wet spring and into the hot, also wet, summer. I know it is all about the rain. We have plentiful sun, and sometimes too much.

Looking at my garden, a fellow garden friend said,"Wow, look at your squash, cukes and tomatoes. Did you turn the soil and add compost?"

I replied, "No, I was lazy this year, I just dug holes, tossed a handful of compost in and planted things."

I even experimented further with the not-turning-the-soil concept. I ripped up some grass, in an adjacent area, dug holes and planted tomatoes. They are thriving. Grass is growing near and around them.

My garden is jungly, and each day I go out and gather tomatoes, cucumbers and check on the squash and beans. We have more than enough zucchini, yellow squash, basil, hot peppers. I make pickles, gazpacho, grilled veggies, and give things away. We are eating well.

This upcoming FET has me a bit worried. We only have 2 blasts. I truly hope and pray they both make the thaw, but who knows if either will? I don't have the choice to "plant" extra and hope for survival.

This FET, IVF experience really is like the garden season. Last summer I planted many things and many of them died, but some made it. Not enough rain(or careful watering) too hot of a sun. In May, we did our IVF, and really thought it would work. Those embryos(that we transferred) didn't make it, and neither did 4 others. I have been trying to tell myself that I had to go through all of the mess, pain, sadness of that ivf to get those two embryos, which may become our child(ren).

In a lab(that is currently closed for vacation) one vial with two embryos waits, labelled and numbered. Those embryos are a dream we can't pretend we don't wish for with every breath.

6 comments:

  1. This summer your garden took off like crazy, despite just "sticking them in the ground". To continue your FET/garden metaphor...everything was so laid out and intentful with your 1st IVF, and now you have these 2 precious embies that you are going to plant back in with a lot less preparation than the fresh IVF (shots for weeks,etc)...then wait and let nature do her thing. This year it worked really really well for your garden, and it can work just as really really well for these little embies.

    I love your comment that maybe you had to go through all that for your 1st IVF to get these 2 who will be your kids.

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  2. I am so wishing that this FET will help you and DH become parents to much loved children. Best always and thanks for your comment on my blog.

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  3. if Ms. Pessimism is around, tell her there's no use being pessimistic, it wouldn't work anyway.

    i saw that on an honest tea cap and it stuck with me. i try to emotionally prepare for the worst but expect the best. a lot of the stress i have experienced in life has revolved around worrying about things i have no control over.

    you are amazing at giving care and cultivating life (plants, pets, food, family...) and i think your embryos will reflect this strength.

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  4. if Ms. Pessimism is around, tell her there's no use being pessimistic, it wouldn't work anyway.

    i saw that on an honest tea cap and it stuck with me. i try to emotionally prepare for the worst but expect the best. a lot of the stress i have experienced in life has revolved around worrying about things i have no control over.

    you are amazing at giving care and cultivating life (plants, pets, food, family...) and i think your embryos will reflect this strength.

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  5. if Ms. Pessimism is around, tell her there's no use being pessimistic, it wouldn't work anyway.

    i saw that on an honest tea cap and it stuck with me. a lot of the stress i have experienced in life has revolved around worrying about things i have no control over.

    i try to emotionally prepare for the worst but expect the best and when i feel stress about stuff i can't control, i try to remember to let it go and relax so i'm better able to deal with stuff when it comes up.

    sorry if i'm babbling or if this comes out wrong, just wanted to share.

    you are amazing at giving care and cultivating life (plants, pets, food, family...) and i think your embryos will reflect this strength.

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  6. evergreen-it helps me to think that way, helps make the disappointment lift some. thanks.
    Martha-thanks so much!
    N-very sweet of you, thanks!

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