Saturday, April 4, 2009

Saying the "P" Word

Yesterday was a gorgeous day. OK, that is a late perspective. The first half of the day we had dark grey clouds with torrential downpours... But, the sun came out and the clouds scattered themselves into highlights of white over spring blue. Lovely.

I left my afternoon class and started the 15 minute walk to the metro. Suddenly, I knew it was time to call my Mom and tell her(the 3rd ultrasound did the trick). She was very very happy, and understanding of why we waited to tell her, this time. She agreed that it was good weather to get such news in, and said her walk that day would find her grinning, quietly, to herself.

I am still hesitant to say, "I am pregnant." I get a little flutter, similar to the flutter one gets in early phases of a developing relationship.

"This is my.... boyfriend, Mr. S" (internal voice- 'is it ok that I said that?')
"This is my... fiance, Mr. S" (wow, butterfly city)
"I am engaged." (holy moly, is this happening?)

The first time I heard the words 'husband' and 'wife' used about us in normal conversation, I was floored.

I used to think labels were unimportant. I still believe we give them what weight we want, we choose their power.

But this one, one we worked 3+ years, thousands of dollars, thousands of tears and hundreds of injections for is still giving me shivers.


  1. It's amazing how much more special it is when you have been trying so hard for it. I hear co-workers complain about their kids all day long and even tell me not to have kids (how rude with them knowing I'm trying so hard!) but they do not understand the blessing they have and how precious it is like we do.
    Keep enjoying those butterflies - I have a feeling you will get them stronger than ever before the first time you hold your baby in your arms!

  2. I felt the similiar flutter last night. I was telling my husband about a pregnancy book for dads and I walked away thinking "wow. he is going to be a dad."

    I am glad the weather cleared and you were able to tell your mom. It does sound like a gorgeous day.

  3. That is so wonderful you shared the good news with your mom.

  4. It may take a while to stop living in the moment with the pregnancy. With 6 years of trying, and at 25 weeks pregnant, we're still not envisioning the future so much as getting through one week at a time.

  5. Ooooh, this post gave me shivers and butterflies and all of that too! How nice to feel comfortable enough to be able to share the news with your mom.

    Butterflies... :-) Perfect description.

  6. You are PREGNANT!!! Shout it from the rooftops when you are ready! Enjoy the butterflys and stomach flips :)

    Your mom must be over the moon!

    Ps - word verfication was "vocyte" which i totally read to be "voice it" :)

  7. OK, it's Sunday...HAPPY 9 WEEKS!! I know the p-word is hard to think about, much less say. I hope that gets easier for you as the weeks and months continue along.

    Hope you are enjoying the weekend!

  8. It's so nice to read that someone else is thinking exactly the way I am. It's very hard for me to conceptualize that this thing will eventually (hopefully) be a "baby." Congratulations on telling your mom. Wishing you all the best.

  9. Powerful words, indeed! Glad you shared the news with your mom!

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