Friday, February 6, 2009

the green fingertips of spring

In a way, it feels strange to be embarking on this fertility quest in the depths of winter. It has been a cold time, here. Last month we had 21 days of below 32 degree weather. I got to the point that 36 felt warm to me.

I took a walk today in a nearby garden, after work, and before I got there I though to myself, "I hope I see signs of spring." Even knowing that spring is months away.

The gardens showed that this has been our coldest winter in 10 years. Hellebores and camellias showed frost damage. These are plants that bloom in late winter, and they looked cold and tired.

But, on my way up the path I saw a whole cavalry of green shoots, crocus or daffodil, just fingertip long. The ground is frozen, and yet they are coming up, the sun has been getting to them, somehow, through the dark, cold earth.

It seems that growth can happen at any time. Yes, I'd rather have my transfer and head off to the warm beach, like last August, but I am ready for this now. I go in for my first stim check tomorrow, I have high hopes that my follicles will be doing well. I am tired of being cautious with my feelings.

So, let hope be the warmest thing in our household. Let the green shoots crowd the window of my dining room, all the plant-promises of spring. Daffodil and paperwhite, geranium and jasmine.


  1. Hello-

    I am reaching out to my fellow bloggers to introduce myself. I am an adoptive mom who underwent IF for 4yrs. I started a non-profit
    Parenthood for
    Our mission is to provide financial and emotional support to those starting families through adoption or medical intervention. Education is a big part of our mission statement.
    Also, I holding an essay contest as well.
    Please visit my blog

    Erica Schlaefer

  2. I'm glad you saw those signs of spring, and that you are feeling hope for this cycle. Good luck on your appointment check tomorrow - I'll send positive thoughts for LOTS of healthy follicles!

  3. Thanks for the hopeful post and good luck with your stim check.

    I am also looking forward to seeing the signs of spring, my crocus should be popping out in the next few weeks and I can't wait.

    The idea of new growth, even in the midst of cold is something that gives me a lot of hope as well!

  4. What a beautiful post (as always). That really is amazing that the daffodils are already rising up. Good luck, my friend!!

  5. OH my --

    Its so amazing to think that Spring is coming, in the north, those same shoots won't come until late April sadly, but just the knowledge that they are coming....I love that moment.

    thinking of you,