Saturday, November 8, 2008

three months---ish

Mr. S and I decided we'd give the job/insurance quest three months and then go forward with credit card funded IVF. I've been applying for jobs, about 10 a week, which is exhausting. At first, I was excited when I'd find one that either looked interesting, or would offer insurance. But, here I am, 7 weeks later, with only one interview and many many "thanks for applying, the position has been filled" messages.

As we get closer to having to pay full price for IVF, I get more nervous, and feel like it is a really stupid thing to do, in this economy.

But, on the flip side, my 37th birthday is 2 months away. And, I wonder how long I will have to wait, if we don't go for it. I hate all of the unknowns.

And, to add to the wondering, I am still waiting for my hcg to get to zero.

Luckily, we have many distractions. The election, the country's new conversation, many small gatherings with friends. It is church bazaar season, and Mr. S and I love the quest for small treasures. I do ignore the kids areas(baby stuff, etc) as it makes me extra sad, since I had been looking forward to getting prepared there. It is odd, superstition maybe? But, even though I feel we do have a baby in our future, I don't feel OK buying to get ready for him/her.


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  2. I am glad you have distractions and it's so understandable not to "jinx" yourself by shopping. I send my best for a nice weekend.

  3. My mom did not give much advice to me growing up but I remember clearly...

    She always said that if you wait until you can afford a child, you will never have one.

    I believe this is something worth going into debt for. The job will come, the economy with turn and you will know you followed your heart.

  4. There are so many stupid things to do in this economy, but investing in the family you want surely is not one of them.

  5. I have to agree with the previous comments....investing in the family you long for is never a poor financial choice. But, I know, that doesn't make it easy. I believe you will reach the point where either you have found the job or you decide to move forward with the credit card option - and it will feel right. You will feel right about it. (Doesn't mean it might not be scary though).

  6. Poppy, I can relate so well. We, like you 2, have really not wanted to go into debt, and have managed that so far with IF. Everything about how we have arranged our lives, including how we built our house and where, has been to stay out of debt. But I kind of rocked my husband's financial world a few weeks ago, when I declared that if we need another IVF, we'd pay for it by credit card. He is imaging a one-income family and him having to pick up the burden of that bill. Yes, a concern, but I really can't wait, because my labs just seem to show that my eggs are aging faster than the rest of me. I didn't mean to take over your blog, but I just want to say, I know exactly how you are feeling on this point. It IS scary to think about that extra debt.

    Praying your get to zero soon.

  7. I hope that some miracle solution appears for you. I really really REALLY hate the fact that this stuff is not covered by insurance.

    That, plus the evaporation of much of our retirement accounts this year... ugh!

  8. I agree with s.e. and cp. We were definitely not in a good financial place when we started round 2 but we had credit cards. You've got to do what you've got to do.