Thursday, December 11, 2008

a new (temporary) focus

For 2 years, a lot of my online time has been spent on TTC websites, researching Male Factor Infertility, and connecting with others on this IF journey.

Due to economic downturn(and my having lost 2 teaching jobs- I piece together things, normally) I am now having a different type of obsessive online activity and direction for daydreams.

Lately, the ttc website/researching has been replaced by job-hunting, cover letter writing, resume restructuring.

In a way, it makes sense that my focus would change a little, how much can you daydream about a natural surprise pregnancy, after failed IVF and miscarriage?

The only fun part: imagining myself in jobs that may be fun, or may lead to a couple of things:
1. me having disposable income, something that hasn't happened in years. --vacations again! to dream, to hope.
2. us having IF (or a little)insurance coverage, and thereby increasing 1.
3. the quieter hope, imagining having a job from which I would have maternity leave, something my contract teaching would never give me! And using that maternity leave!

Yesterday, I got home from my last day of college classes to an interview request. I would be an edu.cation coo.rdinator at a local ar.boretum. It would be VERY cool(I think)... Let the daydreams begin. And, serendipitously, had a lecture to attend that night, about gardening in the city, for wildlife.


  1. That would be serendipitous! Sending my best to you Poppy and Mr.S.

  2. I'd say it's totally natural and healthy for your mind to shift your focus a little. Sometimes when we find other things to concentrate about, some unseen factors have room to trickle in and help resolve the first issue.
    I always think of creative people or some of our geniuses in history. They most always get the great ideas when they are not thinking about the problem.
    Good luck on your interview. May your perfect job find you soon!

  3. Good luck on your interview, the job sounds like a perfect fit!

  4. Ooh, fingers crossed for the new job.

  5. Hey lady!
    I tagged you ;)
    check it out at

    No pressure, just do it if you feel like it. :)

  6. That job sounds like it would be really neat, and so perfect for you. I wish you so much luck with the interview, and all your job hunting efforts. Job hunting is so stressful - just remembering it from years ago makes me anxious! Good luck!

  7. I was always enraged to hear about women whose health insurance didn't cover IVF, but now that I am amongst them, it has become personal. I think its just plain wrong that some health providers discount a woman's reproductive health when writing their policies...infertility is a health problem that requires a doctors attention to (maybe) fix. I guess they make it so that having children is not a necessity, but elective, like getting collagen in your lips. But having babies is (well, should be) a normal natural function of the body, and the fact that they don't want to help us with this is disgusting. Sorry for the rant!