Friday, November 28, 2008

Thanks and Wants

I love Thanksgiving. It is one of my favorite holidays. It is all about seasonal eating, and gathering with loved ones, in a spirit of gratitude. But, I must admit that I was filled with anxiety about yesterday's Thanksgiving. First off, I end up cooking a lot, even though we go to other family members houses. I usually make: stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, and a Quorn roast. This started years ago, as my brother, my husband, and myself are all vegetarian(brother was vegan), and it hasn't stopped. It is tiring making almost a full meal and then packing it up, wondering how things will reheat, overcooking issues, etc.

On top of that, I would be 17 weeks pregnant today. When I was pregnant, I had been happily envisioning myself at the holidays, belly starting to show. Instead, I still have the weight I gained from ivf + pregnancy, but no actual pregnancy. And, my SIL is pregnant and showing, after her own DE-IVF.

Luckily, the actual day was fine. The cooking + packing took up so much time and energy that I stopped being anxious about being around a lot of pregnancy talk. As I cooked, I thought about the bounty of beautiful food we have available to us, and was feeling grateful. The gathering was the normal large family thing, loud, laughy, too much food. Even still, I was very drained last night.

On our way out, Mr. S's Mom said, "We need your lists soon." His family has everyone make a list of what they want, and then everyone else picks an item or two and gets it. It can be fun, or draining, depending on money. So, this morning I was looking through department store circulars, trying to think "What do I want?" and all I could think was "a baby" or, more practically, "money to help fund ivf."

How do we ask for that?


  1. here is an interesting idea. When a friend of mine got married, because the couple already have everything for their home, but no money for the honeymoon, they had the guests buying shares to help with their trip. Now, you just have to get creative with the name for your fund. ;) It could be worth a try...
    On another note, I just recently discovered Quorn, as hamburger patties and such. I really like it as an alternative to soy too. I'm glad your cooking and carrying the food around went well. :)

  2. Glad you had a good holiday. I am sorry that it was a reminder of what would have been...

    Ask Santa, of course!!!

  3. I think you can ask for money in an IVF fund - people know how much this means to you both, and how much better to have some resources towards IVF than another [insert blank] that you don't really want or need.

  4. We wrote a letter to our immediate family, and asked for money that way. Not really asking for them to help fund the IVF, but just the amount they would normally spend for a gift to be given as IVF money. They were happy to do it.