Friday, May 16, 2008

vidalia, roses, rain

I walked into a local supermarket last week and saw a large pile of onions, they were large and had slightly flattened tops and bottoms. I thought to myself, "The vidalia's are in!"

My grandfather would get excited each year, when the vidalias came in. I remember walking with him in the grocery store and him picking one up and saying, "These are different, they are sweet." Now that he is gone, and I am working on building my own family, memories like these really get to me. I am grateful I knew my grandfather enough to know such a small thing about him. I want my children to know their grandparents in that way. But Mr. S's father has emphysema, and I feel we've been on borrowed time for a while now. It is one of the hidden costs of infertility. I hope we can remedy it, and soon.

Our yard is covered in roses. The old-climbers on our fence are in full-blown bloom, weeks earlier than usual. A red profusion of loose petals(the kind that have a wide center, not a lot of petals), along with them are the roses I planted. Newer varieties, tea roses, large and showy and two of them are amazingly scented.

From the aforementioned grandfather(who raised me, with my grandmother, for 2 years) I inherited a saver's sensibility. One that is common with people raised in the Depression, or by depression era people. Normally I would leave all my roses on the branch. They live longer there. I might bring in one or two, to put by my bed. But rarely.

It has been raining on and off for a week now. Some of the roses have been de-petaled, and some look a little bedraggled. The wind is rising, tonight, and I decided to go and cut myself some roses. Outside, they make my yard cheerful. Inside they seem like an extravagance. Beautiful abundance.

I had my three-days of stims check today. Things seem to be progressing well. My lining is good, .61cm. I have 5 measureable(close to 1cm) follicles and 12 others. My estrogen is at 169. These are all things that seemed like code to me, but I've been looking things up. I get to stay on the same dosage and go back on Sunday.

In the meantime I look forward to promoting excess and abundance within myself.


  1. What a beautiful post. I'm going to keep checking in on you!

  2. >>These are all things that seemed like code to me

    I remember talking to people about IVF and hearing about trigger shots and mixing meds, and at the time I just kind of glossed over it all. It's amazing how quickly you become an old pro when you're the one actually doing it.

  3. Viagra is the trusted treatment for male impotence problems. Online Viagra resource containing quality information on viagra and Erectile Dysfunction.