Wednesday, July 16, 2008

travel, and gettingover through

I started this post two weeks ago, while out of town. I was interrupted, and clearly, didn't get back to it right away. I have missed this journal, and I think it is time to come back. I needed some time off, I think. Thanks for checking in on me.

I am in Guatemala visiting my brother. A week ago I had the thought, "Why haven't you visited him?" There have been a hundred reasons over the last 10 months to not visit my brother, TTC, no money, Work, no money, IVF and saving for it.... etc. But I saw a chance for a quick trip and I took it. I arrived Wednesday afternoon and I leave on Tuesday. (obviously, this was written there, I got home July 1)

The day I arrived we left for the north of the country. I wanted to see the Mayan ruins of Tikal. My brother had warned me, "It is not easy to get there, especially if you are just coming for 7 days." But, I was determined.

We took an overnight bus trip to get there. The bus was ok, not terrible, not great. I slept poorly(I like beds) and woke to a grey dawn and the announcement, "Flores" and we rushed off the bus.

Tikal was amazing, wondrous, magical. Temples rise out of the jungle, the vegetation is lush and powerful. It definitely reminded me of being in Greece, a similar scale to the monuments, the breadth of human achievement, the timelessness of old stone structures.

We stayed one night there(and let me tell you, that was a good sleep) and then were off to head back to Guatemala City, to get to my brother's town.

That day, we had 3 bus rides. 1 hour from Tikal to Flores, 4 1/2 hrs from Flores to Coban(both mini-bus/minivans) and then 5 hrs from Coban to Guatemala City. The rides were bumpy and, at times, very squished seating. But, I enjoyed myself. The mountains of Guatemala are gorgeous, and I was inspired to see the amazing scenery, the farms, the people on the roadsides. All of it. My neck was sore from looking out the window for hours and hours.

We met some people in Tikal who had flown there. They couldn't believe we had taken the bus, and would do so again. Part of me(the tired, sore part) agreed. But, a budget is a budget. On the busride back to Guatemala City, I realized I was happy to be on the bus. Mountains, clouds, corn growing at ridiculous angles, bright clothing on women, children bathing in mountain streams, all flashing by. I thought to myself, “If I did this again, I’d fly one way and bus the other.”

And of course, I thought of my failed IVF, and this terrible, necessary journey I am on. I have to continue. I have to go through it, I can’t take the easy route, and fly over it. I truly truly hope I will one day look back on all of this and have some measure of gratitude. But for now, the journey is a metaphor not for ivf/pregnancy, etc, but for my healing, grieving and moving through.
(started on 6/29- resumed & finished on 7/16


  1. Mrs S, That was a lovely post. So glad to see you back on your Blog after the much needed break. I don't know what I was looking for, but I kept coming back to your Blog over and over thinking it would read differently or something. I think it is great that you took this trip for yourself, and it has been helpful in the process of getting through. Looks like you are well on your way to whatever the next step will be. Wishing you all the best!

  2. I can tell by this post that you are a master of the metaphor.

    IF is, indeed, an epic journey.

  3. Your trip sounds like it was amazing and therapeutic. Welcome back!

  4. Hey! I need to catch up with blog reading! My bad. I'm making my blog private, and I don't have your email address.... please send me an email at

    so I can send you an invite!

  5. thanks everyone-I had lots of time(clearly) on buses to think about writing.
    I am happy to be back, and happy you all are still willing to read. :)

  6. I am SO glad to see you back, Ms Poppy! As always, I love reading your posts. It sounds like an awe-inspiring trip.

    I think you will get to other destinations, too, in the months to come. Yes, the journey is a big part of it. Still, I hope the road starts getting smoother from here forward.

  7. It is sooo cool that you went through the effort to do something that you really wanted to do. One of the most beautiful sights I've ever been to was the Mayan Ruins in Tulum.

    And the metaphor is great. I swear going through IF makes us all wise beyond our years!!

  8. wow, another experience of chills while reading something of yours. being with you here and hearing about your travel experiences, knowledge of farming, etc... gave me just one more reason to look up to my big sister.

  9. Welcome Back, been thinking of you both. Sounds like a wonderful trip and glad you are home safe and sound. You motivated me to start a blog, if you want to "check" me out. Sending my best, Martha