Tuesday, May 27, 2008

DNA getting along

I have been so caught up in the numbers game(this many follicles, this much estrogen, this many eggs, this much sperm, this many cells) that I haven't truly taken time to think about what is going on in those petri dishes 20 miles from us.

Our sperm and egg have finally(and probably for the first time, according to my Doctor) met. And, they like each other! They are growing at a lovely rate. Today they are all at 8 or more cells, which she said is "perfect and more than perfect." It makes me so happy to think about it. Seven perfect embryos.

The longer Mr. S and I tried to get pregnant(and didn't) the more I thought about this desire to "make" a baby together. I knew I wanted to be pregnant and to carry and birth a child. But, once we got the not-s0-good sperm news, I wondered if it would be possible.

The question of using a sperm donor came up. Part of me, especially the me that existed on the day my period arrived, would think, "yes, let's do that!" But most of the time I wanted the chance to make a baby together. At least to try.

This is something I don't take for granted.

I realized, in my twenties, that this is not an option everyone gets. If you are in a same-sex couple, the closest you can get to both being biologically related to the child is to have a sibling/cousin, etc donate something to you. I do wonder if they'll perfect something, soon, to get dna from two eggs, or two sperm, so that both parents can be in the dna of the new child.

I also know that not everyone needs to be biologically related to their child. I have a friend whose father told me he never wanted to "father" a child(biologically) but he is thrilled that he got to adopt his wife's two daughters. I've seen them together, and it is wonderful.

I am highly aware that it isn't biology that makes the parent or the love. I have step-parents and half-siblings and, especially with my half-siblings, feel no difference at all. Knowing children who've been adopted, I've seen the bond they have with their parents and family. If that is the route we take, I will be ready to do it.

I fear I am being insensitive in writing about this issue. Please let me know if you feel I am. I wanted to talk about this. I am so grateful we've had this opportunity. It is crazy to me to think that our little embryos are becoming blastocysts, and one or two of them will(hopefully) be a part of our life for a very long time. Eyes, nose, hair, skin color, we have NO idea what will happen, how our dna will combine. It is exciting.


  1. I found your comments incredibly insightful and sensitive. Love grows regardless of where and how planted! I am happy for you both to have this opportunity and wishing that all your babydreams come true!

  2. I'm so incredibly happy for you, Mr. S, and those 7 happy embryos!

  3. I dont think you are being insensitive at all. We are also in this spot, where we want to at least try to make a baby together. If it doesnt work out at least we know we tried at will move on.

  4. Good luck with your ET tomorrow. I'll be praying for those little one(s) to be nestling in.

  5. Good luck Good luck Good luck!!!!! I had the same feelings when I realized there was actually a true joining of my husband and I out there in the world, and then nestled in my uterus - after so many years of trying. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!